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Jessica Valerie

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Yo ho ho!

This is all like kakow. [09 May 2008|06:32pm]
Called it. CALLED it.
Faith and Doubt: A-

BOOSH.

1 on a dead man's chest| Yo ho ho!

[08 May 2008|02:54pm]
Dads just don't get girls.Collapse )

3 on a dead man's chest| Yo ho ho!

What you people come here for, I'm certain. [27 Apr 2008|11:44pm]
So it's no surprise to anyone that cheap, glossy, substanceless hip hop is about my #1 guilty pleasure. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's Ahhht or anything, I just like music that makes me want to shake my booty and does not make me contemplate my existence. The pop-focussed music selection at work does naught but feed this addiction.

Enter Shaggy Feat. Akon - What's Love


So, Akon, serial collaborator extraordinaire, has finally teamed up with Shaggy, the old Akon. At first I thought the song was just a hilariously inevitable conjunction of cliche recording artists. But gradually I have found myself dancing a little while folding jeans and the like and realized, horror of horrors, I kinda dig the song. Some thoughts:
First of all, of course, the video is like a total rip off of Kanye West's Golddigger. Right down to the lame model/dancer girl continuing to dance badly after the music has ended.
Second: I wonder, was Tina Turner the first person to use the phrase "What's love got to do with it"? If she was, I hope she's collective royalties from all these flash-in-the-pan "artists" who can't think up their own catch phrases.
Third... Akon is Canadian, isn't he? Christ, this is what our country has to offer the world.
Finally, it seems to me that Shaggy has become less of a douchebag. Really, I understood very nearly all of what he was singing in this one. Maybe he realized that the fake accent didn't make him anymore popular with the laydaayyys. Definitely some distinct remnants of douchebagosity there, though.

This has been a musical review from Jessica McCloskey.

Yo ho ho!

[20 Apr 2008|12:50am]
"My life is essentially a series of embarrassing events, strung together by telling people about those embarrassing events." - Russell Brand

... I hear ya, man, I hear ya. All I've got is the hope that maybe someday, my misfortunes will be entertaining to someone else.

On a related note, when you are at a wine-tasting fund raiser with your family and a lot of people you knew from high school, and servers keep coming back asking if you want more wine, SAY NO.

Yo ho ho!

I really am too slack on myself. [14 Apr 2008|06:20pm]
I get such a great sense of accomplishment from writing my Psych exam that I feel like I deserve a "break," and thus have spent the past 3 hours THINKING about the two papers I should write tonight, and not getting started on them.

Now I'm saying, "Well since I'm not going to work, I might as well watch a movie. I mean, I DID just write an exam and all."
I don't even get stressed about exams though. I literally got up from writing this one thinking, "Ah, that was a nice little rest from worrying about things :)"

I don't think I'm going to end up being all that productive tonight.

Yo ho ho!

Would it kill ya to play something we know? [11 Apr 2008|01:03am]
What the hell @ shitty DJs.
I could DJ a party better with just my iPod... Jesus.
It was the most like... inappropriate mix of dance, country, and BAD hiphop you can imagine. It was highlighted though by several sketchy ass guys staring at me in threatening ways. So, you know, good time.

I always feel so bitter when I get myself all done up for something that turns out to be a bust. I got outta my jammies for this? COME on.

2 on a dead man's chest| Yo ho ho!

[04 Apr 2008|03:42pm]
You know what kills me?
My religious studies course last semester, I really enjoyed it. It was interesting to me, I understood the concepts, and I only got a C in it.
This philosophical bullshit I've got this semester? I hate it. I have NO idea what is going on half the time, and I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of words that conclude NOTHING.

But I bet I get an A in it. I bet I could major in Philosophy and do quite well. Too bad I fucking hate Philosophy with a burning passion.

I NEVER get good grades in the classes I like, I ALWAYS get good grades in the classes I hate, and this is why I have no idea what to study.

Yo ho ho!

I RickRoll'd myself for April Fool's [01 Apr 2008|05:49pm]
I'm feeling good today.

I got an A on my Religious Studies paper from a while back, which was a bit of a boost to just finish off the year as best I can.

Also, the other night I learned this:

(He is amazing and I will strive to dance like him. Gahhh *foams at mouth*)

The weather's getting warmer which makes me a happier girl, but I'm not a huge fan of all this cold misty rain. The snow, however, is beating a hasty retreat an this makes me a happy girl again.

Some other things make me happy too XD

2 on a dead man's chest| Yo ho ho!

I need to be institutionalized. [18 Mar 2008|03:55am]
Oh God.
My humongous essay due for tomorrow had a minimum 3000 word count.
It's 4 am and I've got 2100 and I have absolutely nothing else to talk about.

Is this okay I hope this is okay oh my God I can't do all nighters anymore Aaghhhhhhh my brain is dissolving

The last time I pulled a stunt like this I almost failed the paper. When will I learn?

Yo ho ho!

An open letter to... my own delirious post all-nighter self. [13 Mar 2008|08:20am]
Dear delirious post all-nighter self.

I know you thought it might be a nice idea, and I forgive you, but a day break stroll through -12 wind chill, snowy, slippery Sackville for a coffee and a date cookie is so not worth it.

Not worth it to the max.

Yo ho ho!

Ode on a Psychology Midterm - by Jessica McCloskey [07 Mar 2008|12:10pm]
O Psych Midterm,
Here you had me worried,
Worried that I had not sufficient notes,
Nor sufficient study time.

And yet, I finished you
Before my coffee had cooled enough to drink.
I owned you.


Author's note: It's really a shame that I hate school so much when I own it so hard sometimes.

3 on a dead man's chest| Yo ho ho!

[05 Mar 2008|02:27pm]
I am a compulsive shopper. Until now I had avoided online shopping, just too dangerous a combination with my personality.
Modcloth.com, you will be my downfall.

ThisCollapse )

and thisCollapse )

You are now mines.

Yo ho ho!

[14 Feb 2008|03:52pm]
As Madonna says, "I kind of ignore Valentine's Day. I think it's silly. I think people should send me flowers EVERY day." =D

Pony up, bitches. A dozen roses x 365 x 20 years... + 5 leap days... x how ever many there are of you.
I'll just be waiting here.
^_^

1 on a dead man's chest| Yo ho ho!

[13 Feb 2008|06:48pm]
Dear University,
They're called "storm days." Use them. Tramping through ankle-deep snow, slipping all over the place and getting drenched by what is now freezing rain, all for a 50 minute lecture, is so not worth it.
So like, you know. Get on the ball here.
Sincerely yours,
Jessica

6 on a dead man's chest| Yo ho ho!

Hats are a nice alternative to grooming hair. [04 Feb 2008|04:07pm]
Post a picture of yourself as you are right now. Don't change clothes, don't go reapply makeup, don't spend ten minutes trying to make your hair behave, don't edit the final product in Photoshop to make yourself look less blemished or shiny or, I don't know, pale. You can take as many shots as you want until you get it right, but don't try to fix yourself up to look 100% perfect or resettle yourself in front of a more photo-friendly backdrop. This is who you are as you're reading your friends-list.

I <3 you, Internet!Collapse )

Not bad for a cameraphone, actually.

1 on a dead man's chest| Yo ho ho!

We interrupt this program to bring you... [29 Jan 2008|07:21pm]
This.



Consider your collective days brightened.

5 on a dead man's chest| Yo ho ho!

In some moments I am so undeniably... me. [21 Jan 2008|11:25am]
I just realized that my watch was on upside down.
I put it on yesterday morning and I hadn't noticed until now.

I am Jessica. I float through life in a kind of haze, totally oblivious to myself and everything around me. I say stupid things, do stupid things, but am usually altogether unbothered by any of it, since I tend to just float on past these moments like I'm not even involved in them.
I just hope no stairs or glass doors appear in my path.

It's a shock I've survived for twenty years.

1 on a dead man's chest| Yo ho ho!

[16 Jan 2008|12:37pm]
I have a question.
What the fuck is the deal with my life?

Whenever something slightly nice happens to me, something shitty has to accompany it. Case and point, I had a relatively pleasant evening last night, only to come home and realize I somehow broke my cell phone's screen.

This is why I like to hide out by myself. I'm safe in my little cave >_>

1 on a dead man's chest| Yo ho ho!

An open letter to my university professors. [07 Jan 2008|03:26pm]
Come on, guys.
First day back to term is supposed to be a quick, 'here's you're syllabus, now go home.' 15 minutes, tops.
Thus far, none of you have fulfilled this expectation. I am willing to put this all behind us if you REMAINING profs get on the ball for tomorrow. I know you can't see my face over the internet, but it is very stern right now.

J. V. McCloskey

2 on a dead man's chest| Yo ho ho!

[01 Jan 2008|03:33am]
Well, happy new year to everyone who still bothers to read my lame journal. Here's hoping it turns out better than 2007.
I went to a party tonight and lost my grad ring in a snow bank. I tried not to be a Debbie Downer about it but it was really a buzzkill. It was like, a typical end to a shitty fucking year.

Resolutions:
Restart going to gym, obviously.
Enough assholes. Take life into your own tentacles and just Let. Fuckin'. Go.
Become a cyborg and subsequently take over Earth.

That about covers it.

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